It's a bit of a sad chapter too I suppose... Don't worry... It's a bit messy and short. I'm not proud of it. But I don't want to re-write it, again.
“I miss you.” Those words were meaningless. They didn’t mean a thing. She didn’t want to see me.
Tom called my name out twice. I knew he would be upset if I didn’t show up. I locked my door and opened the window. I could see the ground and some kind of stairs. I put my feet on the stairs and climbed down. While I was laughing I walked away from the house.
“God dammit Dougie!” I could hear Tom scream and yell and it was funny. I was free for a moment.
My mobile phone rang a few times – all of them were Tom. He wanted me to come home.
Well I didn’t want to so I ran away. A bit childish, yes, but on the other hand I needed to be alone. I started running to the park, I always loved parks. It reminded me of home.
“Hey you! You’re a friend of Gabi.” Someone yelled at me when I arrived in the park. I saw a boy standing in front of me, his big posture scared me a little.
“I’m Damien. I’m a friend of hers.” He said. Of course he was waiting for me to say: “Oh yeah she told me about you” but I didn’t say that.
“Nice for you.” I said grumpy. His eyebrows were raised and I wanted to walk away.
“Hold on buddy.” He said. “First you’re gonna tell me why you guys stopped being friends.”
I was surprised.
“That’s none of your business. Just back off okay? Leave me alone.” I said and I walked away this time. He let me, although he screamed stuff at me. He was a good friend for her, he just has to wait until she moves. Then he’ll realizes he’s a fool.
I grinned and walked to the café Gabrielle works. I knew she wasn’t there, because she was in school.
I ordered some coffee and sat down. I thought about my life, what it used to be and how it could be. If I never joined McFLY I was still that weirdo in Corringham and friendless, because Gabrielle left anyway. My life would suck. On the other hand, when I joined McFLY we both left. So we wouldn’t be friends after all. That made sense. I heard noises and of course some foolish teens came over.
“Can I have your autograph?” I smiled and signed her little paper. I made her day for a moment.
An hour later I was still there, drinking coffee. I was sad, coffee always made me feel sad. My mum used to drink a lot of coffee, it made me feel like home. Only a few girls tried to bother me but I ignored them. I know that’s a bad habit but I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
“Can I get you some more coffee?” a lovely voice said. I turned around and saw her, Gabrielle. But it was a different Gabrielle than I saw last time. She was wearing heels and her hair was in it natural colour again. It was strange, I blinked my eyes a few time.
“What happened to you?” I asked but she didn’t answer. I could see in her eyes she hated her ‘new’ look.
“More coffee?” she asked again, I nodded and I got more coffee. She left again and when I blinked again she was totally gone.
“Excuse me miss, was Gabrielle just here?” I asked the lady behind the counter. She gave me a confused look and pointed at the big clock.
“It’s eleven o’clock in the freaking morning! She’s supposed to be at school and you should do the same thing!” she said and she refused me give me coffee.
Okay, so I was hallucinating. Great. I saw her everywhere. Time to go home.
On my wander through the big London city I saw thousands of people walking in the same direction.
I stopped at a music store, where thousands of records were sold. I stared at the building and grinned a bit. People were nagging and shouting things like: “What are ye staring at?” and “Move! You’re in my way!”
The only thing I could do was smirk.
“Dougie, what on earth are you doing here?” Busted, I saw Tom standing in front of me. “We thought you were totally lost!”
I did something bad and something bad was going to happen soon.
“Tom, you don’t understand.” I started.
“But we’re all trying very hard to understand you! You just refuse to let us into your head!” he screamed. Okay, people were making pictures now.
“I know, but you will never understand.”
“Stop saying that! If you keep saying that we never will indeed!”
We kept yelling things like that and it was enough. I turned around, pushed some people away and went across the street.
Tom was yelling some things and in the corner of my eye I could see him following me. I smirked again.
“Dougie! It’s not green!” he yelled and I raised my eyebrows. The light was green, what was he talking about?
I stepped on the footpath and I heard it from more people.
“Watch out!” someone yelled. I heard some cars honk but I ignored it.
Now I stood in the middle of the path when someone screamed “Watch out!” again and I looked to my left. A huge car was coming to me. I totally froze. I wanted to move but I couldn’t. My feet were stuck on the ground, like they wanted to stay there.
“Tom…” I whispered softly. I knew he couldn’t hear me so I feared for my life.
“Move!” another voice yelled.
The car didn’t slowed down, it was like it was speeding up. It seemed like an hour but quickly it hit me. I rolled over the front window, flew in the air and landed hard on the ground.
Tom ran to me and I could see his face. It was a bit blurry.
“Dougie! Can you hear me?” he asked and I tried to grin. My legs hurt, I couldn’t move my arm and my head felt like it was going to explode.
“Tell Danny I’m sorry,” I said slowly. “And tell her that I always loved her.”
I could see he didn’t knew who I meant and I tired to sigh but that hurt too much.
“Gabi.” I whispered. “Oh and Tom, it was nice to know you. I had a great time.”
I said ‘time’ like it was going to be my last word. I heard some more ‘Dougie!’ sounds but they disappeared soon.
My vision was blurring and after a while I saw some black spots. My pain grew by the minute and it felt like I was dying.
“I .. love ..” I tried to whisper but everything turned black…
I could see them trying to wake me up, like I was there. Tom was trying not to cry and people cried indeed. Some fans were fainting and I kinda smirked.
I was still lying on the ground and the driver of the car called 911. The sounds of the police car was coming closer and the ambulance was coming too.
I feared the worst, actually. I thought I was dead. I could see myself lying in the freaking ground! That’s a sign that I’m dead.
The ambulance people muttered something like: “I feel a pulse, but it’s weak.”
“He needs to get to the hospital soon!”
And my body went into the ambulance. Tom got in as well. He looked worried and he finally cried softly.
So if I was still alive, why could I see my own body? Maybe it was meant to be that I died young, maybe not. I wished I knew but I really don’t know.
I’m scared though, I don’t want to be the first to die.
I’m not ready....